I was standing outside in the cool, night air
The wind was moving and it blew my hair
My eyes were looking at the life around
And I did not expect to see what they found
The wind stopped blowing and my face was cold
Never, in my life, have I felt so old
My knees lost strength and they hit the dirt
My heart lost strength and my insides hurt
Too many eyes looking down at me
So many eyes that will never see
So I found my ignition and I turned the key
'Cause he was not who I made him out to be.

When you smiled, I did. When I smiled, you did.

Do you still have a smile, or have you gotten rid?

I do not get to see, so I have to ask to know

I remember, last we spoke, you just wanted me to go

For a while I fought it and I did what I could

But you've made it pretty clear that it did me no good

So now I'm going out and I'm living a new

And I meet people without them ever meeting you.

Candied Cherry Gore

Did you love me all the time you said you did back in school?
Were you waiting for the day that you could play me a fool?
Where did you go because I did not see signs
Maybe I should have learned to read between lines


Why have I not heard a single sound of your voice?
You know I am hurt and retreat was my only choice
I cannot run away, but cannot run at all
I am hurt and wonder when to expect your call


Do you love me like you just said you do?
Are you waiting for the day I go searching for you?
I tried to stop you, because I felt this was wrong
I tried to keep us together, where we belong.


Why does my heart remain where I was shot?
Where you forced me to leave the hardest fight I have fought
I wish to stand, putting all my heart in my strife
But this heart is being held by the blade of your knife.

It's like gambling that the chemo will help the cancer enough, without killing the patient. It's like risking that they will really love you enough, and not kill your wounded spirit.